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The Baaamy Farmers were chatting away when they were interrupted by Bert’s phone ringing, instead of answering it he stabbed the red button, “I needed to call the bank this morning”, he said, “and they put me on hold, ‘thank you for holding, thank you for holding’, over and over again, I gave up after a while; I hate phones these days, unlike my wife who’s addicted to hers, the other day she answered a call and only talked and laughed for about thirty minutes, I said ‘that was short, you usually jabber away for hours’, and she said, ‘it was one of those nuisance calls”.
“I was in the field this morning, and I had hold of a cow by its horn, a young lady walked along the footpath, looked over the hedge and asked why some cows had horns and some didn’t, well, I explained why, then she pointed across the field and said, ‘why is that one hornless’, I said, ‘because it’s a horse’… youngsters today!”
Over at the knitting circle Natalie had them in stitches talking about her friend who’d set up a first date with some fella, “she put on her sexiest dress, made herself up like an princess then waited and waited for him to come to pick her up; an hour later she thought she’d been stood up and decided not to hold on any longer, well, she changed into her pyjamas and slippers and slumped herself down in front of the telly – just then the doorbell rang and there he was, he said, ‘sorry I’m late, but it doesn’t matter because you’re obviously not ready yet’!
“We went to a dance on Saturday”, said Bab’s, “the one they hold at the village hall, it’s the only time I get to hold my hubbies hand, there was an elderly couple there doing the waltz and every now and again they kissed each other on the cheek, hubbie said, ‘they look so in love, how sweet’, and I said ‘yes, they’ve been married fifty years … but not to each other’, they looked so different from the couple at that wedding we went to, the bride looked miserable as sin during their first dance” – Suzie at the next table leapt to her feet and began to sing, “you don’t always get what you want…”
“A pirate was waltzing”, said Colin, “and he said to his partner, ’we need to spin the other way’, she asked why and he said, ‘because you’re unscrewing my wooden leg’ – a skeleton danced on its own because it had no body to go with – dogs are bad at dancing because they have two left feet – I used to tap dance, but I kept falling in the sink – ballerinas dance on their toes so people at the back can see them – I dropped my phone from the 20th floor, good job it was in airplane mode – the detective dropped his phone and cracked the case – A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, ‘five beers please’ – you hold a platter of cheese very Caerphilly – don’t hold a person to anything he says if he’s in love, drunk or running for office – I was reading a non-friction book, it was hard to hold – I like to hold hands at the movies which surprises people either side of me – Tom can’t hold petrol but Jerry can….….”
After another busy evening, Landlord Len relaxed in his armchair with a comforting cup of cocoa; he picked up a book from the side table, it was his dearly departed Maggie’s book of poems, and it fell open at a page with the corner turned down – “when you hold my hand, like child, I feel safe,” he quietly read to himself – ‘when you hold my hand, I feel your warm embrace’, she whispered in his ear.
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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories, where this week’s given word is Hold.
