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Arthur entered The Baaamy Inn with two number balloons floating above his head, a six and a two; he attached them to the back of his chair, only he put them the wrong way round; “You’re not twenty six”, chuckled Babs, “I know”, said Arthur, “but my wife’s been going on about my age all day and I’ve had enough of it, I thought sixty second birthdays were only supposed to last a minute – apparently there’s a surprise waiting for me later, she’s usually in bed when I get back from the pub so I dread to think what it is”.
“Talking of balloons and birthdays”, said Bert, “one year my kids treated me to a hot air balloon ride, well, I can’t stand flying in planes so the thought of being up there in a basket with a flaming cauldron scared me to bits, but as it happens it wasn’t too bad, obviously there wasn’t a trolley dolly but we did at least have a bottle a champers; after we landed we stayed in a very hot Airb&b which seemed quite appropriate!”
Over at the Knitting circle Natalie was telling her fellow knitwits about the time she brought her husband a trumpet for his birthday, “he always liked silver bands, so I thought he’d appreciate it, I’ll never forget his face the first time he blew in it, his puffed up cheeks looked like red balloons and the noise was like one of Bert’s bulls with severe flatulence!”.
Landlord Len’s dearly departed Maggie used to come up with some really unusual pub games, she once held a darts contest with a difference, before each player had a go she hung large balloon in front of the board to hide the numbers; when it was Len’s turn, she discreetly poured some water into the balloon before inflating it, the poor chap got soaked when he hit it – knitter Poppy won the competition, she’s good at piercing wool with her knitting needles, so aiming darts was a piece of cake, she had the perfect name too!
Drumroll please, here comes Colin, ”I’ve invented bubble wrap filled with helium to make packages lighter – I liked working at the helium factory it was uplifting – but I left because I didn’t like being spoken to in that tone of voice – you fill female balloons with shelium – balloons hate pop music – two balloons were in the desert, one says ‘look out, a cuctus’ and the other one says ‘what cactsssssssssssss’ – the last thing the balloon said to father was ‘goodbye, pop’ – ‘ay matey,’ said the pirate on his 80th birthday – the best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once – I asked my friend when his birthday was, he said March 1st so a wandered around the room and asked again – if you’ve never played darts blindfolded you don’t know what you’re missing…..”.
It would have been Maggie’s birthday tomorrow so just after midnight Len did what he does each year, he went into the garden with a heart shaped helium balloon then released it into the air and watched as flew heavenward; “happy birthday my love”, he muttered, ‘thank you sweetheart’, she whispered in his ear.
Thanks to Denise at GirleOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Balloon!
