Keith's Ramblings

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For Wordless Wednesday and bloghops various

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In 2013 I spent a few days in Rome. I thought I’d take a look back at some the many photos I took.

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– click pics to enlarge!.

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Victor Emmanuel Monument

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The Coliseum

There were hundreds of  tourists in there, but I managed to photoshop them all out!

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Pincio Gardens

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Piazza Navona 

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Roman Forum and Palatine Hill

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The Pantheon

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The Spanish Steps

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Fontana di Trevi 

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The Vatican

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The Basilica

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The Vatican Museum

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The Sistine Chapel

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..and finally, a walk along the River Tiber

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Now I fancy a pizza! 

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….but I couldn’t resisist the temptation to discover where the path led.

I found myself in a street. The houses were black, their curtains drawn. One twitched as I walked by as if somebody was peering at me from within.

There was a cafe. I stepped inside hoping for a much needed cup of tea. However, the menu only offered drinks such as red wine, bloody marys, cranberry juice and things. How strange.

I suddenly found someone siting alongside me, a lady dressed all in black. ‘Where am I?’ I asked.

She just smiled, revealing a long bloodstained fang. I was shocked!

‘Bloody hell!’ I shouted.

‘Yes’, she said. ‘This is Bloody Hell’

It was then I noticed the sun had taken leave of the sky, which was now black as ink but for a blood moon.

‘Don’t worry’, she said ‘I’m having a dry January. You are safe, let me call an Uber to take you home’. She flicked her fingers and yellow broomsick landed outside. The witch beckoned for me to  join her.

In  minutes I was back in my cottage. I won’t be walking that path again!

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Thanks to Sadje for hosting What Do You See?

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Thanks to Sammi Cox for hosting the Weekend Writing Prompt

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Len is not at all well, there’s a lot of flu about right now but instead of flying by it flew straight at him; when he was with Maggie it wasn’t too difficult if one of them was ill, but now he’s running the pub solo it can be a bit of a problem; he always likes sharing things with his customers, but passing on bugs is not one of them – there was only one thing for it, he felt forced to close The Baaamy Inn for a few days – unless…..

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but Len has a son, Paul, he’s a member of the local Police Force and having been born and brought up in a pub means he’s fully au fait with how to run it – he was owed a few days leave from work so he stepped up behind the bar and took control – “why don’t you wear your uniform in the pub?”, asked Suzie at the next table, “I like a man in uniform” – “because I’m a proper copper not a stripper”, he replied!

Arthur was unusually quiet, infact he looked to be in shock, so Ted asked him why; “I love my wife dearly”, he said, “but she is a force to be reconed with so I’m always careful not to critisise things she does that annoy me, well, this morning I simply had to mention something she’s always done that gets my goat, and it went very badly”; “what was it?”, asked Ted, “she always leaves the toilet seat down”, Arthur replied.

Paul was coping well until the Baaamy Best Bitter spluttered to a halt, the barrel was empty; he searched high and low for the key to the cellar but it was nowhere to be found, Len was fast asleep upstairs on the sofa so he didn’t want to disturb him, however  George had a solution, “I’m forever getting locked in and out of places, so forcing locks is second nature to me, let me get that door open for you – in minutes BBB was back on tap!

And then it was Colin-time…“I locked myself out the house, so I called through the letterbox for the cat to let me in and it said me? how?’ –  the hospital was forced to shut the obstetrics department because they had a midwife cricis – I hate people that force their opinions on others, and so should you – when the Space Force fancy a party they planet – I was forced to make  bread in exchange for information, it was knead to know – I was forced to swallow purple food colour, I felt violated – a lady was locked out of her car and a passing soldier offered to help, he rubbed his sleeve against the handle the door came open, she asked how that happened and he said ‘these are my khakis’….”  

Len felt someone gently touch his had, “Maggie, my love, I knew you would be here to keep me company”, he whispered; “no Dad, it’s me”, said Paul, “just wondered if you fancied a cup of tea”..

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Force.

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My window was covered with ice this morning. I opened it and peered outside. Everything in my garden was frozen, the pond, the plants. 

The weatherman said it would snow later.  Excellent!

I polished the bottom of a tea tray, I put on lots of clothes, I put a tea cosy on my head, I stuck my hands in some oven gloves, I got two bamboo canes from the shed then I climbed to the top of the hill.

I sat on my tray and waited for the snow. I waited…and I waited…and I waited…

Then it started to rain.

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Tap Froggie to visit the squares!

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Thanks to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers

PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook

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for Wordless Wednesday and bloghops various!

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Apart from travelling and blogging, I have one other passion – entertaining guests up here in my little loft!

Here are a few of the tables, menus and foods that welcomed them last year. Most of the pictures were taken by my guests then posted on social media.

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Spring! Here’s the table

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These were the welcome nibbles and cocktails.

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I put on a Greek night. It’s traditional to smash plates at the end of the meal, but there was no way they were ruining mine to so I decorated the table with broken crockery!

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The menu…

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…the sweet meze!

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I put on a movie night. We watched Moulin Rouge. This was the coffee table with fans to wave, roses to wear, their tickets and movie theatre snacks to nibble on…

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…more movie food followed!

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My most ambltious, and expensive meal was a Japanese one!

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The welcome table…

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…the dining table

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a couple of plates.

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Arriba!

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Oscars nIght!

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My Easter offering, starting with a birds nest of nibbly bits!

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The table…

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I did a lot of trecking in Madeira, so when I came back I turned the tables into lavadas – trails to you and me! The soil is chocolate breakfast cerial by the way. 

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Here’s what I laid on. I brought quite a few ingredients back with me.

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Viva la France! My table. decorated with garlic and Onions

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Another movie night, this time with a buffet to graze on 

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I did several Christmas Cream Teas recently!

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Finally, a festive table!

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Now I’m feeling hungry!

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I’ve not  done an audio this week as I have a very heavy cold and I was worried you might catch it whilst listening in!

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One afternoon in 1986

It was dark in the shed. So eerily quiet she could hear her heartbeat!

‘Let’s play hide and seek’ her friends said. ‘You hide, we’ll count to twenty and then we’ll come looking for you’.

Why couldn’t she hear her friends running about searching for her? They must be creeping around the garden hoping to lure her out. This was the most fun she’d had in ages!

Minutes later it was still silent. Sitting in the dark wasn’t so much fun now. Why was it so quiet? She waited and she waited.

Suddenly something tickled her forehead. She leapt out of the shed frantically ruffling her hair. It must have been a spider. She expected her friends to come running toward her laughing; but there was no one to be seen. They must have left her and gone off  to play elsewhere, it was not the first time something like that had happened. A tear trickled down her cheek.

She was alone. So alone.

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One evening in 2026

It was her husband’s birthday. She thought she’d surprise him when he returned from work. Things hadn’t been going well for them of late so she decided to make his homecoming very special. A meal fit for a king, champagne on ice, rose petals scattered across the table, candles. She donned her most alluring dress and just before he was due home she hid behind the dining room door.

She waited for what seemed like an eternity. Several times she thought she heard his car pulling into the driveway, but it must have been the neighbours.

Then she heard a key in the lock and the front door opening. She could feel her heart pounding with excitement. She waited for him to come into the room. And she waited, and she waited. Eventually she ventured out from her hiding place. He was nowhere to be seen. On the hall table she found a note. She didn’t need to read it. A tear trickled down her cheek.

She was alone. So alone..’

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Thanks to Sadje for hosting What Do you See?

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The regulars at The Baaamy Inn were somewhat quieter than usual, probably something to do with the excessive alcohol consumption of the night before when Landlord Len hosted his famous New Year celebration; Arthur had his head in his hands, and George appeared to be asleep!

“We should all make some New Year resolutions”, said Babs, clearly echoing the thoughts of several others as they nodded in agreement, “I’m going to exercise more, save money, and give my liver a rest by going without alcohol during January even though this Coke tastes horrible”; “what a good idea” said Ken, “I’m going to keep fit by walking to and from the pub, save money by not using the taxi, and give liver a rest by giving up pate!”

 “We are going on holiday next month“, shouted Natalie over at the knitting circle, her shrill voice echoing around the bar causing cosiderable discomfort to those still suffering hangovers including Suzie at the next table who stuck her fingers in her ears, “we are flying away to somewhere warm”, she said; “last time I was on an aeroplane, someone shouted hijack”, said Polly, “everyone was terrified until a guy at the back shouted Hi John!”

Henpecked Henry from the chicken farm was telling the others about the Christmas present he had from his son Harry, “it’s a thing the size of a tin of beans and it’s called an Amazonian Echo or something like that, it plays music, tells me the time and even farts if I ask it to, it’s lovely having a woman in the house that does as I ask and never tells me what to do!”

Having a hangover wasn’t going to stop Colin telling a joke or two – “my joke about an echo keeps repeating itself – my daughter yelled, ‘Dad, you haven’t listened to a word I said, I thought that was an odd way to start a conversation – I shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is – the janitor jumped out of the closset and shouted ‘supplies!’ – a swimmer shouted ‘help, shark, help’, I just laughed, I knew the shark wasn’t going to help him – English speakers shout ‘yes’ when excited, Spanish speakers shout sí, French speakers sound like they’re coming down a slide…..” 

The Inn’s beer cellar down beneath the bar is very echoey, and whenever Len goes down to change a barrel he always shouts ‘hello’ or ‘hi’, and listens to it  echo back; this morning when he went down there he yelled ‘Happy New Year’, and a voice said ‘same to you my darling’ – it was Maggie’s voice.

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories. This week’s given word is Echo.

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Len fancied taking up diving. He thought he’d practice in the park before braving the sea. 

He stood upright in a pedalo like a latter-day Christopher Columbus. ‘Fobble-ible-oble’ he said; speaking with a snorkel in your gob isn’t easy!

Wifey Laura started peddling. Unfortunately, the boat was still tied the bank. It jerked to a halt and Len toppled into the lake. Unperturbed, he clambered back aboard. Someone untethered them, and away they went, stopping in the middle. 

Len jumped into the water unaware that it was only two feet deep – or in his case, two knees deep!

He’s gone off the idea now!

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Prod Froggie to visit the squares!

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PHOTO PROMPT © Lisa Fox

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Thanks to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers

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For Wordless Wednesday and bloghops various!

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I took a walk around a nearby retail park – there seemed to be some sales going on…

 

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…and I didn’t spend a penny!

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